DivorcingDaze

Laurie and Laurie will have their say, as they podcast on this August day. First there is a dedication, to one of love's associations. A listener writes in with a query: Does cheating really mean the end? The Lauries say that 'that depends.' I do, I do, you have my assurance, really love your health insurance. Click the button, leave a review, DivorcingDaze has more for you.
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DD goes a lil bit country this week, as our redneck ranters escape from the city on L1’s birthday weekend. From mice to Mommies, laughter to Lovergirl, Google to garbage, the Lauries pack a lot into this rural rumination. A challenge to Tori Spelling to join the show and a Tip o’ the Pod round out the ‘cast as we head into the final weeks of summer. Set a spell, put yer feet up, enjoy.
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Laurie’s guest this week is Cynthia Rubin, family law attorney.  Join them as they clink plastic glasses and have an honest conversation about divorce, the law, and how you can protect yourself before, during and after. Does the judge care about the cause of your divorce? Why getting support is so important. What to do if you are down and out, broke, and feeling trapped. And what makes for a good divorce?

In a week of messy celebrity divorces, DD's Laurie suggests Maureen Dowd's New York Times column, "An Ideal Husband," might be worth reading. This edition of DD is much about men, dedicated to men, and we read email from men. Click on the red button, man.

Laurie and Laurie podcast from the Lezbaru, on the road in New Jersey. What exit are you from? They hit a thunder storm, bother the new guy, who is in the back seat trying to read and stay out of it, and otherwise give you a tantalizing look behind-the-scenes of the number one divorce podcast on iTunes. This one is a light, frothy summer drink. Play it while you grill, lie on the beach, frolic in the pool.


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Laurie 2 has an informative interview with positive psychologist Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, author of "The Enchanted Self - A Positive Therapy."

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As long as you know we don't know what we're talking about, we'll be fine. But third graders are in the know about Obama. In DD64's Listener Mail segment, putting the X in his place and out of your place, a listener wedding, and asking the right questions before getting married. We're still looking for the things you cannot live without, so, send them in. It's been hot and steamy in New York, but we slaved over a hot computer anyway to bring you our latest.

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Today on DivorcingDaze #63, Laurie 1 interviews Laura Dave, author of "The Divorce Party," just published.

 

On their 35th anniversary, Gwyn Huntington and her husband Thomas have invited friends and family to their Montauk home. Instead of celebrating their decades-long love, they are toasting their divorce. This also marks the weekend that their son brings home his fiancée, Maggie Mackenzie, for the first time. Maggie thought she was joining a perfect family, but she is about to reckon with some uncomfortable truths about the man she wants to marry.



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In DivorcingDaze 62, Laurie & Laurie want to know...What can't you live without? Some politicians can't seem to live without a second family. You can't live without milk for the kids, dog food, and gas, despite the climbing prices. Some people can't live without Google, but there's a lot to be said for human search engines. And, the headline question, "Wouldn't it be fun to sleep with someone else?" Go ahead, you know you want to...

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DivorcingDaze actually started as written columns, before the birth of our podcasts. We got so excited with the new podcast technology that we nearly forgot all about them and they lived only on my hard drive. I'm posting them for you to read, not hear. This is where it all began...

TAKE ME TO THE PEAS OF THE POD

In DD 61, dinner out with a seemingly normal family, an exploration of emotional availability and the good fortune of a well-timed vacation round out the 'cast this week. And an interview with the lovely and talented Susan Sarandon, starring in the upcoming "Speed Racer," in which she plays a loving and supportive mom, like in real life. The Lauries are fans. There's more but if we told you here, you wouldn't...



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The hot red boots may be gone, but their souls live on. Laurie & Laurie ponder pigs, pork and park benches. And they wonder what all the buzz is about Dr. Phil and rumors of his divorce. If anyone out there knows the real story, please send the scoop. This podcast is meant for playin’...and you know what to do.


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I should have responded to the article appearing on page ONE of The New York Times (ohmygodohmygodohmygod) four days ago, the day it was printed. In our age of instant communication this would make sense. The article that talked about DivorcingDaze. The article that quoted me. For Pete’s sake. Page ONE.

However, I was shell-shocked. Scared. Embarrassed. I wanted to run away and hide. Ironically, I was experiencing the same emotions that scarred my soul five very long years ago after reading X’s Blackberry. Said New York Times article was headlined “When the Ex Blogs, the Dirtiest Laundry Is Aired�. And I felt dirty all over again. Comments screamed “narcissism,� “ bad parenting,� “sick society� and so on.

Hmmmmmm.

Humans have a need to communicate. At least this human does. I pod to bond. To connect. To share. To help. To feel. What we talk about in our podcast, I’ve discovered, is pretty commonplace. It comes back to us in comments, emails, even “thank yous.� And then I feel human again.

Humans are these funny creatures who like to dissect topics blow-by-blow. In our traditional male dominated media, we will over analyze a political race, a game of football, the cost of a barrel of oil all to the nth degree. But what about affairs of the heart? So little airtime and newsprint is devoted to the truly important topics that affect our lives in the most intimate ways. The real life stuff that happens in our homes. In our families. It’s easy to criticize women who blog or podcast about their lives as useless, self-centered, even dangerous. But if what we do gets people talking about their feelings and feeling better for it, how can that be bad? Washington and Wall Street, take note.

The internet changes the power of “the voice.� It gives the power to everyone. Anyone. To women. Even to me. But more importantly, there is an audience for what these women (me) have to say. Or more accurately, have to feel.

As the reporter noted in her article, the Judge acknowledged DivorcingDaze may not be the best thing for co-parenting. I think the Judge is correct, because X sure is angry at me about this. But most things I do make him mad. Like when I read his blackberry that fateful day. Talking to X’s soulmate’s husband: Very Mad. The day I accepted an invitation to visit his father and step-mother with our children: Mad. Asking for his flight information when taking our children to Florida: Mad. Breathing air: Mad. (get the picture here?) So if the Judge really knew what went on in real life in the last five years she might have to rule that my being alive is ill-advised for successful co-parenting.

So should I cease and desist in an attempt to appease and placate X? I’ve come close to it. In fact, when I discovered that he discovered DivorcingDaze I took everything down. I was afraid of him. Afraid of his anger. But then I remembered, I’m not married anymore. And his anger should no longer be able to control me. And the podcasts went back up.

The worst thing I’ve said about X in DivorcingDaze is that he lied and cheated. Is it unfair for me to talk about the emotional fall-out when someone cheats and lies? We live in such an imperfect world. It is important to ask the right questions.

So after more contemplation, I’d like to continue with DivorcingDaze. It serves a purpose, people like it, they find it helpful. Hopeful. Sometimes entertaining. And that makes me feel good. It’s just like algebra. If I feel good, I am a better parent. Even a better co-parent. And I think we can all agree a happy mama makes for two very happy children.

I am proud of DivorcingDaze. I am proud of our listeners and of the people who write us. Who connect with us. I am proud of what I have become. And of what I do.

Hibernating all weekend long allowed these dirty feelings of mine to air out. Let’s just say that today, I have very clean laundry.

Laurie interviews Vanessa Van Petten, author of “You're Grounded!: How to Stop Fighting and Make the Teenage Years Easier� and the Teens Today blog.


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Tax day is near, time to get your assets in gear. Speaking of assets, Laurie and Laurie ponder their division, including the cleaning lady. Doesn't divorce mean you live in separate homes? And get your own damned doorman? Divide, already! There's more stuff about the significance of sharing assets of the chocolate chip kind, a trip to the Farmer's Market and looking back on love. Check out the Newsweek story on The Divorce Generation in our news section, and some new links to favorite blogs.


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"Enough! Alright. This one time, this one time I'll let you ask me about my affairs..." -Michael Corleone

Laurie & Laurie talk about the future of DivorcingDaze, just this once.


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Photo: Paramount Home Entertainment

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DivorcingDaze 56 is not to be missed, so pay attention. Today's discussion ranges from the halls of power to the jungles of Indonesia and is all about cheating, faithfulness, kids, romance and married love. And the Lauries wonder, "Are there any prostitutes listening?"
Monkeys, monogamy, and Ménage à trois are also among the topics today. There are links to the articles referenced in the podcast, below, so put the kids to bed, pour a glass of wine, and start clicking. Oh, and please write to us and tell us if you think Silda should leave Elliot.

The NY Mag Spitzer Article
The Atlantic Monthly Article - Marry Him!
NY Times' Faithfulness Is a Fantasy

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Thank you, Governor Spitzer. L & L discuss the foibles of New York's First Citizen, letters from the Tooth Fairy, tipping gone wild, kid stories, and more. A special musical guest rounds out DivorcingDaze #55. Enjoy!

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